Beauty is in everything but not everyone can see it.
YEAR IN REVIEW @notes
So, GOD is this amazing person, that is right here! Unlike Santa, who knows when you are sleeping, and knows when you're awake, who knows when you've been good or bad, and then only gives gifts to those who are good, GOD, while we were yet sinners, loved us. Us, me, filthy dirt, loved. Not, liked strongly, ... loved.
I have been lonely, and it has been obvious. But, yesterday, and for about the last few days, the lonliness has been changed by the "not good enough" vibe. "You're never gonna be good enough, don't worry about it." - David (responding about the yard) "You're never going to be good enough, or smart enough, or strong enough, you're just not. But you are loved." "Failure is not final. Success is not permanent. The only thing that matters, is courage." Winston Churchill. "Do not fear", or an iteration, occurs 365 times in Scripture. Three hundred and sixty-five times. Let that sink in. You can find somewhere new in the Bible every single day, the very same Creator of the Universe lowing gently saying, "Don't be afraid."
So, for this year, I drempt of a circus, oddly, set on stage, lit to a wide house. She leaned on my shoulder, put her elbow under mine, and held my hand. No criticals, no conditions, she just loved. It was wonderful. I remember E. sitting to the right.
Moving backwards, Dan C. hiked with me (annual thing, was April last year), and a new Dan to the club, Danny, joined us. Strong word, about a strong saviour. I remember Delta making an exception with me and having IT people actually talk to me about work. I remember literally at the last hour, a person offering, not just a room, but a cabin, on a working ranch, for free, with a stream to boot. I remember a widow offering free rent, widow, I say again, widow, offering rent wage trade for labor... Odd, I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.
I remember a man, with his two kids, living in a basement, listening for a whole five seconds: "I lost my wife, that's why I don't judge." I remember a kid who never judged. I remember his playground, or at least us on it, I toured them over the last year. This week, the final, from 2014, the soccer field playground, now owned by the Y. It is as Em says, empty without him.
I remember an astonishing, remarkable wife, plotting the irreconcilable: go here for work, housing, life. I remember a man, sitting down and saying, no, I'm not here for that, your turn, I'm here to listen. He has less, yet he offers more.
I remember a boy laughing, smiling. I remeber a wife in the same. I remember a daughter joking, straight face, about a badger and a badger hole. I remember a man, for absolutely no apparent reason, saying, but you can call me LeBron, and I remember him ironing the laundry, right out there in the open.
I remember a dream, where I hear a small boy summoning me to play and at the same time saying it's okay to be happy, it's okay to grow up, it's okay to be alive. I still cry, It's okay, Daddy, it's okay. It's okay, son, it's okay... from our dad, the Dad.
I remember Linda, herself a widow, giving me pounds and pounds and pounds of food at "homeless" wage. I remember hearing the fingerprints of God from an old radio friend, and then waking up to a Christmas gift, verses of the Bible, in a fingerprint.
I remember re-singing Can't Cry Hard Enough, and the family room was full, with shivers.
I remember R. just driving over and mowing the lawn, lickety split, with his ride-on mower.
I remember K. walking over with a jet pack and spraying the weeds, and that stuff's expensive.
I remember B. and R. giving soup (nobody likes soup) after soup, without judgement, because GOD IS BIGGER, no matter what.
I remember being cold, and showing up to a nice jacket, sitting on top of a parca.
I remember a hitch-hiker, well, no hitch, no hiking, but alone and hoofing it none-the-less. Here is what he did: nothing. Here is what he asked for: nothing. Here is what he got: months of people having him wash cars, mow lawns, tend garden, fix roads, sidewalks, driveways, and all for a pittance. He stayed at the local yokel motel 6 for homeless rate, two days and two nights, all for the sum of nothing. It was dry, they gave him free lunchbag breakfast, and free internet, and free clothes at the nearby thrift. And, all his laundry was paid for. Why, because he didn't want to be an imposition.
A story: there was a man, who needed a car, so, he stole one. Then, on his way, he completely and uterly wrecked it. Un-useable, un-fixable, trash. The car is ashes. For this wreck, for these ashes, the owner seeks after the thief, and asks, are you okay? Nothing, shame. He asks, do you need another car? Nothing, shame. Here take mine. The man, though greatful, says nothing, shame. He takes the car, and wrecks it too. The same owner comes again, are you okay? The same owner offers yet, another car, which is yet again, wrecked. And so it goes, seventy times seven. And, the owner is not foolish, though the man might be for not recognizing mercy. This is really the story of Our Father. Beauty for ashes everytime.
I remember a note, a simple verse, under a windshield wiper, "His mercies are new every morning", indeed, they are.
I remember a man, the curser, no, just keep looking at God, He won't steer you wrong. It has occurred to me, S. and S. and M. and A. and J.B. and J.S. and J.D., we are all looking for the same thing, GOD. We are waiting for Him to incline his shoulder, his ear. Maybe He already is, and we do not see, do not feel. I have been mercilously cold last year, literally and figuratively. I have also been able to warm my hands by The Fire. I have seen my soul be illuminated.
One thing, before the year started, a boy, just a boy, rode to his mom's house: "I'm good, because GOD is good, and that's all I need to know." Indeed.
notes, 6/5/2019
begin LINUX OS NOTES JULY 2019
Linux filetree root = /.
contents of a dir = ls
details = -l
hidden files = -a [example ".dot" files like .bash]
pathname "you are here" = pwd
change directory = cd
file contents = cat {example cat /path/to/file/finle_name like cat meeting.docx}
move within contents = less {less /path/to/file/file_name}
\\ maneuver (scrolldown = enter / return) Quinton = q (quit, easy guess) \\
make directory = mkdir ..... mkdir dir_name ... mkdir dir1 dir2 dir3
-p = allow making parent directories : -m set permissions : -v run in verbose
remove directory = rmdir
remove directory with contents in it = rm
remove empty parent directories = -p
touch empty_file
copy = cp { cp /home/user/source_file
/home /user/duplicates/target_file }
move = mv
remove = rm
and rm -r non_empty_dir
grep -r -w -n -e --include --exclude --include-dir and --exclude-dir